Do Gummi Bears Dream of Rubber Passion Fruit?

2008-07-03T10:00:00.001-07:00

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It is July 3, 2008, and the Tampa Bay Rays are in 1st place.

People laughed at me when I told them, during the off season, that the Rays would compete for the Wildcard next year. And I was purposefully tempering my excitement for this year's Rays team. I had a feeling they could compete this year for the Wildcard. The Yanks are something of a mess as they try to figure out wheather they'd like to buy their championships (which wasn't working so well lately) or if they should grow their own talent and win championships that way. And, as it stands, they're pretty far behind the enormous depth Tampa has in their farm system, which will keep them rich in talent for at least the next 5 years, most likely a lot more. And the Orioles-- well, that team is just poorly run and has no solid pitching or foundation. The Blue Jays have a pretty good team, but they can't seem to get it together. And then, of course, we all just assume the Red Sox will own 1st. But they don't! Not as of July 3, 2008. The Red Sox are without David Ortiz, but that's no excuse. I've heard the Sox fans already coming up with a list of excuses because they've become the New Yankees, and that means Sox fans feel entitled to 1st place and a playoff berth each season. Problem is, the Rays may just be a better team-- at the very least, it can't be argued that they're not on equal ground, not anymore. Of course, the Rays have also fielded a team that can flat out beat the mighty mighty Red Sox (as evidenced in this week's SWEEP) with about 20% the payroll the Red Sox have.

Also, it is July 3, 2008, and the San Francisco Giants are in 3rd place.

I, of course, was predicting a 100+ loss season-- not that halfway thru the season they'd be a mere 5 games out of 1st. Of course, after last season, where the NL West was arguably the best division in the NL, I could never have predicted just how remarkably bad the West would be this year. The West is so bad that the Giants have lost 48 games and they could-- with a little luck --actually wind up in the playoffs this year. The first place Diamondbacks, as of today, July 3, 2008, have a record of 42 wins and 43 losses. They have a losing record and are in 1st place! I don't know if I can recall anything like this happening before. A team is in 1st place in their division with a losing record halfway thru the season. Remarkable.

What's even more remarkable is that if the Giants actually made it to the playoffs they may stand a chance to advance past that round simply because Lincecum knocks the bats out of the hands of opposing batters. And Cain could be getting his shit together. And then there's Jonathan Sanchez, who has finally come into his own as a potential ace. And as the 1st round of the playoffs in baseball is a best of 5 series, the Giants need only win 3 to advance. Those 3 pitchers could hand them those victories almost single-handedly.

Of course, just winding up in 1st will take a lot of luck, and an even worse collapse within the West, which is unlikely. The collapse of the West is so bad, it's hard to believe it could get any worse. The Giants are in 3rd place! Ludicrous! That means there are two teams worse than the Giants? Are you fucking kidding me?

But that's why we fucking love this game (it's not a game!). Tampa Bay is in 1st in the impossibly tough AL East, and the Giants are in 3rd-- though, by all rights, they should be in last with no hope whatsoever of even thinking about the playoffs.

from HOUSE PRESS:

2008-07-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

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Dear Friends,

House Press is happy to announce the release of Dana Ward's Goodnight Voice. His book is available through our blog at housepress.blogspot.com.

It is $6, which includes shipping.

Warm regards,

Michael and Luke

2008-07-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

David Byrne has a blog

2008-07-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

caught in the carousel

RECENTLY RECEIVED

2008-06-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

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SAPPHO, translated by Mary Barnard
GERTRUDE STEIN (selections)
THE POEMS OF CATULLUS, translated by Peter Green
THE COMPLETE POETRY, Cesar Vallejo
THE AGE OF HUTS (compleat), Ron Silliman
THING OF BEAUTY, Jackson Mac Low
THE COLLECTED POEMS OF ROBERT CREELEY, 1945-1975
THE POEMS OF EXILE, Ovid
THE COLLECTED POEMS OF FRANK O'HARA
THE MAXIMUS POEMS, Charles Olson
THE COMPLETE POETRY & PROSE, William Blake
THE COLLECTED POEMS, Ted Berrigan

2008-06-30T11:06:00.000-07:00

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Forget the bees, this thing might just create a black hole and swallow the planet whole.

PS
And we only have til August. Nice knowin' y'all!

2008-06-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

Bee Not Afraid

2008-06-29T17:09:00.001-07:00

http://thefanzine.com/articles/poetry/254/phillysound_poets/1

2008-06-29T16:34:00.000-07:00

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I just watched the most recent episode of Doctor Who, Lost World. Oddly enough, in this episode the world is ending and it has to do with the honey bees. The Doctor knows why they're disappearing: the bees are actually from another planet and time and they're returning home. And so the world ends.

But, ANYWAY, onto more important matters. Apparently-- or at least they're making it seem this way-- they are changing the Doctor (for those of you that don't know, the Doctor doesn't exactly die; he dies but then is regenerated, and that's why in the history of Doctor Who there have been something like 11 Doctors (12?)).

Again, ANYWAY, I would just like the BBC to know that if they take this Doctor away from me now, I WILL FUCKING RIOT.

I'm not fucking kidding. I will mofucking riot like no mofucker has ever rioted before.

Mark. My. Words.

Mo.Fuck.Ing.Ri.Ot.

I am not ready for the Doctor to change. I don't want a new Doctor. I don't care how good he'll be. I'm not ready!

Don't bring damnation down upon this world, BBC. Don't take the Doctor away from me.

I'm inconsolable.

I will fucking riot. I will bring hellfire and brimstone and all that shit down on yr mofucking heads.

BBC, don't test me.

Don't mofucking test me.

Inconsolable.

I. Will. Riot.

2008-06-27T12:18:00.000-07:00

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Is anybody else freaked out about the honey bees? I think it's kind of fucked up that the only way things are finally getting underway, government-wise, is because Hagen Daas has to lead the way because they're worried that they won't be able to make strawberry ice cream if honey bees go extinct. If the honey bees go extinct, we've got a whole hell of a lot more problems than going without strawberry ice cream. All fruits and nuts are dependent on honey bees pollinating them. Apparently the honey bee population is down something like 36%? That's fucking nuts (pun!). Somebody asked the question, "What would the government be doing if we were losing 1 in every 3 cows?" No shit. Shit would be in motion, and probably figured out by now if it were happening to the fucking beef industry.

I think it was Einstein that said the world will end 5 years after the honey bee goes extinct. So, that means the apocalypse will strike around 2040, I think.

Eh, it was a good run.

2008-06-26T22:14:00.001-07:00

"It's your business to figure out what I mean... I'm just a vessel of God's word."
-Logan Ryan Smith

Apparently God wants you to believe in the POST-PUNK and also to completely distrust gravity and the Earth's rotation. And to worry obsessively about yr teeth falling out.

1989 (what a difference 4 years can make; aka, i want change, and fame, maybe i should do a shitload of drugs and hope for the best)

2008-06-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

1986

2008-06-26T21:06:00.001-07:00

1985

2008-06-26T21:03:00.001-07:00

2005

2008-06-26T20:08:00.001-07:00

2008-06-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

TALK TALK's "such a shame" is one of the most perfect songs ever.

2008-06-25T10:33:00.003-07:00

2008-06-25T10:33:00.001-07:00

2008-06-25T10:28:00.001-07:00

2008-06-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

This is Sergio Romo. I just learned today that Sergio Romo graduated from my high school, Brawley Union High. And I also just learned that he was in the Giants farm system, but just this afternoon got the call to the bigs as relief pitcher, Vinnie Chulk, got DFA'd. This now makes two relief pitchers in the bigs from my crappy, shitty, terrible excuse for a public high school-- the other is Rudy Seanez. Even by the very low standards of "public" high schools, BUHS is remarkably bad. Something like 80% of its student body doesn't graduate. And I don't think I learned anything when I was there. For example, I took 3 years of Spanish, and I can't speak Spanish-- capiche? I also was in their advanced algebra courses because the regular algebra classes consisted of gluing pasta onto contruction paper, as well as a lot of clapping hands and drooling. I think leg humping was involved somewhere in there, too. So, with those *advanced* courses under my belt, once I got to SFSU I had to take ELEMENTARY (!) statistics, like, 4 times or something before I passed just by the skin of my teeth-- honestly, I think my professor had a crush on me and let me slide. Who says it doesn't pay to be pretty?

ANYWAY, ol' Sergio is going to be a San Francisco Giant and he went to my school. That just seems impossible. The population of Brawley is 14K and about half of them are cows. Seriously. The tiny little desert town smells like cow shit because they keep them all penned up out there under the desert sun wallowing in tons of baking shit and mud.

But I digress. I've decided that I will make it a point to wear any Brawley gear I may still have, or can acquire, to all future Giants games in hopes that Sergio (who started high school the year after I graduated) will notice and we'll be able to bond over the hell that living in the Imperial Valley (or, as I like to call it: THE IV; i.e., "welcome to The IV, bitch! This is how we do it in Imperial Valley!") was. And after that I will have myself a real, big leaguer as a friend and I can ditch all my current friends because I will have hit the jackpot, bucko! Goodbye, losers! Hasta la vista, baby! It's all skyboxes and caviar and chitchatting with Willie McCovey while drinking single malt scotches! Woo-hooo! Jackpot, baby! Jackpot!

I'm kidding, of course. Friends, you know I love you.

At least until I *actually* make friends with a Giant.

2008-06-23T20:00:00.001-07:00

I just watched BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE for the first time in a billion years.

It was really, really dumb.

2008-06-23T15:14:00.001-07:00

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The new NIN album, THE SLIP, is actually pretty good. Not as good as YEAR ZERO, but a hell of a lot better than WITH TEETH. HERE.

Do you think if I can kick the H habit, too, that I can magically become all buff and stuff like Mr. Reznor has?

2008-06-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

Time And Relative Dimensions In Space

2008-06-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

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Does anybody else get SERIOUSLY sentimental when you hear any song from U2's album, WAR? I do. I mean, I know it's pretty much one of the most perfect albums ever made, but I guess I heard it a lot when I was a kid. I remember my sister played the cassette all the time. It reminds me of Sacramento. It really reminds me of summer and yellow sunlight and brown grass and warmth. Long days. Short nights. The neon blue light of the bug zapper. It reminds me of the backyard patio that was a big concrete slab with a wood porch painted some dark, brick-colored red that was mostly chipping. My dad and my maternal grandad made the back porch/ patio. I think the roof of the porch was fiberglass. It reminds me of my dad's little yellow Mazda. I don't know what kind of Mazda it was. I'm pretty sure they haven't been making it for a couple decades now. It reminds me of being 10 or 8 or something. I think I pretty much felt good almost all the time when I was a kid. That stopped at puberty and never quite picked back up. I think I'm always hoping to achieve the feelings I had before I turned 12 or 13-- everything seemed exciting and everything was new and everything was fun and good and comfortable and imagination was easy.

Another thing that gets me crazy sentimental is the scent of jasmine. I think the swimming pool at my grandma's condo complex was surrounded by jasmine. I remember my floaties because it took me forever to learn how NOT to almost drown; and I remember sunscreen and a cool, empty pool with a deep end of 7 feet that seemed impossibly deep; and, again, summer. Every time I smell jasmine I feel pretty good for a few seconds.

2008-06-23T09:02:00.001-07:00

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Rest in peace, George Carlin. We'll always have BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE!